Chasing Life

As I sat on the couch a thousand things ran through my mind.Is this how my life is supposed to be?

The perennial wanderlust that affects my soul ,the farway voice yearning to be heard,the echo of a thousand different images that come from the recesses of my subconscious.There are sights to be seen and songs to be heard before the flame of life is extinguished.

Let me just give an idea of my situation so that my existential angst can be understood better.I am just one of the thousand faces you see everyday,nameless and directionless, plodding along the mundane business of life.I am the voice of the ones who cannot speak,the thoughts of the ones who do not think,the lives of those who do not live.I am the person you see in the queue everyday,the one you pass on the staircase,the lonely stranger sitting on a bench reflecting on what went wrong.

I live for an iota of meaning in this sisyphian drudgery that plagues modern society.The endless repeated cycles day after day in the hope of a better future while the present slides into an abyss
of procrastination.

Life is epitomized in all its frailty and grandeur in the ninth symphony of Beethoven.The slow haunting beginning ,the towering harmonies and the grand finale which most of us only dream about.There is no grand finale in the future only a slow descent into regret over things not done and words left unspoken.

Nietzsche said "In an infinite universe, with no god to direct it, the finite experiences of human existence must necessarily repeat themselves eternally."
How would we then live if we knew that each day is going to be repeated an infinite number of times?Would we change our lives to include excitement and challenges instead of the safe choice of drudgery and boredom?

I don't have an answer to that question.